


Rim Rats and Peacocks

by emeraldvssilver



Category: Firefly, Serenity (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, Jayne doesn't think this is a good idea, Post-Serenity, River wants Jayne, beginning of relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 13:59:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6378859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeraldvssilver/pseuds/emeraldvssilver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Husband to be mocks the way he speaks, says he ain't no core bred, says this lady needs core. Wife to be thinks he talks exactly the way a man should talk to a woman....A core bred boy takes River out to dinner and doesn't understand her feng le brain. A core bred boy can't be with River. River is a broken child, cut and stabbed and shot and twisted and lost and scared and angry and drugged. Jayne thinks of rats and peacocks. But they are neither. They are birds. Flying in the same flock."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rim Rats and Peacocks

Rim Rats and Peacocks

"Ain't no gorram chance in the Verse that I touched that moon brain." Jayne yelled as he pushed his chair back and towered over Mal. One hand was curled into a fist against the table top and the second was pointing towards River. The girl in question was perched on the edge of the dining table, legs swaying slightly to some unheard tune. Her head was cocked innocently to one side as the two men glanced in her direction. She was twirling a butter knife through her fingers in a lazy motion, which Mal was sure to keep an eye on. She hadn't had a violent episode in months but there was no way of knowing when one would strike, and in her hands a knife was a knife no matter how sharp it may or may not be.

"How comes it that a little birdie told me they saw the girl coming up from your bunk." Mal accused, tearing his attention away from the young woman. His hand flexed at his side as if he were moments away from pulling his gun on the Merc.

"Little birdie, wasn't where little birdie should be." River sang from behind Mal with a small smile dancing across her lips.

"I ain't touched her Mal." Jayne argued, his hands up in a defensive motion when the Captain raised his eyebrows at the almost confirmation of his enquiry.

"Ain't gonna touch her Mal." River said, mirroring Jayne's speech, "Doesn't want to touch me. Doesn't want to break the girl." She slammed the knife down and jumped to her feet, arms crossed over her chest and fire blazing in her eyes as she glared at the Mercenary who was close to two times her size.

"Maybe I don't wanna go out the airlock, you thinking of that Crazy?" She threw her hands up and spun on her heel to sit down at the other side of the table, putting enough space between them while still focussing on the argument in front of her.

"What in all hells are you two going on about?" Mal exclaimed.

"Leave it Mal. I ain't touching her and I ain't gonna touch her. Nuttin' happenin' 'tween us." She scoffed at Jayne's answer and turned away from them.

"Right, let's keep it that way." Mal looked between them before leaving the Dining area murmuring something about hired guns and psychic girls and how much hassle they were causing him.

"Riv..." Jayne started, only to trail off as she turned her fiery eyes to his.

"Not just a girl." She defended, arms crossed defiantly as she glared up at him.

"No." He agreed and watched as she stood up and circled round the table towards him.

"A woman."

"Yeah." She stood in front of him barely a foot between them.

"She's 18."

"Gorram don't remind me." Jayne scrubbed a hand down his face.

"Almost 19, a woman." She stepped even closer to his body and stared into his eyes.

"Yeah, a woman." He agreed as she fit her hands on his biceps.  
"Jayne's woman." Her small body was so close to his she was being completely sheltered by his larger frame.

"Yao nu. The captains gonna fill me with lead, and we both know the Doc's gonna fill me with summat worse." He resisted lamely.

"I will protect Jayne. No harm will come to him."

"Ain't gonna doubt you Riv." His hands eventually found her body. She was so tiny in his arms, his large fingers almost touching around her slim waist.

"How about you take this somewhere else before someone less forgiving sees you." Inara said as she swept through the Dining area. The couple barely had the chance to jump away from one another but she didn't spare them a second glance, just passed calmly as though it were a common sight to see.

\--

"Jayne!" Mal shouted as he stood at the hatch of the Mercenary's bunk and hammered once again on the door.

"Qing wa cao de liu mang." Was all Mal heard before the hatch opened and a ruffled Jayne stuck his head out. The room below was still dark so his eyes were half closed against the bright lights.

"Seems our little conversation about xiao mei mei didn't stick. Ain't nobody seen her since yesterday." Mal said with an edge to his voice that Jayne knew he should probably be wary of.

"Gorram it Mal, ain't been no ruttin' sexin' in this bunk. Fang xin."

"Or in any other bunk Captain." River chirped in as she climbed past Jayne and Mal and wandered down the corridor to the sound of Jayne murmuring 'wo cao'.

"She will see her Kai Tze later." She threw out over her shoulder.

"Stop right there girly. You explain." She stopped mid-step and twirled around on the ball of her foot to face the outstretched finger of the Captain pointing towards her face.

"Ain't nuttin to explain Captain." Jayne said, in an attempt to pull the attention away from the young woman.

"I do believe I just saw this Nyen Ching climb right up out of your bunk. Explain."

"She ain't no Nyen Ching Mal." Jayne was quick to defend the young woman.

"Jayne-man is correct. I am a woman now Captain."

"Listen, I ain't got no say in how you two go bout conductin' your business. But while you're on my ship I say you follow my rules-"

"Rivers man will ask brother for permission Captain." River interrupted.

"I will?" Jayne asked, half hanging off the ladders to his bunk.

"You'd better." Mal turned on his heel and stormed towards the cockpit where Wash had his head turned at a rather impressive angle in order to listen to the conversation.

"Can't say I was expecting that." He chipped in, only to swivel back to the controls when he received a heated glare.

\--

"Jayne-man will marry her." River murmured from Jayne's bunk. She was laid flat on her back, her boots kicked off to the side of the room and her thin dress fanned out around her knees.

"Will I?" Jayne asked from where he was sat dismantling his girls at the small table in his bunk, his back facing River.

"He will. And Jayne and his Bao Bei will make little Jayne's and Rivers."

"Cai bu shi." He threw out calmly over his shoulder as he cleaned the barrel of one gun, the pieces spread out in front of him like shining parts of a puzzle.

"Sha gwa. I speak the truth." She turned on her side to face him. Her hair falling across her face and her dress falling higher on her thigh.

"Ain't gonna be no babies cause there ain't gonna be no sexin'."

"Not yet. She will have her way once he is her shwai husband." Her tone was practically a sing-song with the hint of a smile behind everything she said.

"Gotta be asking your brother, if he ain't minding me courtin' you."

"Simon will mind. But River doesn't care."

"Ain't looking to get corpsified girly."

"Woman." She was getting rather tired of correcting everyone she came across.

"That be the truth." She slid off the bed to her feet.

"Jayne wants his River. Wants River flowing all over him." Her steps are silent as she approaches him from behind, "River wants to flow over husband to be." She whispered into his ear as she draped herself over the vast expanse of his muscled back, her hands linked around his neck.

"Bao Bei, stop it." Jayne kissed the back of one of her hands before standing up, causing her to lose the light hold she had on his shoulders.

"Rivers weather rocks until they flow interrupted." 

"Ain't got no will power when it comes to sexin' a doxy. But you ain't no doxy, you're a lady. Gotta do the right things for a lady." He kissed her softly on the forehead before stepping away making sure to leave at least an arms width between them.

"Husband to be mocks the way he speaks, says he ain't no core bred, says this lady needs core. Wife to be thinks he talks exactly the way a man should talk to a woman." 

Jayne was silent at that. He'd never announced how uncomfortable he was with the class differences between them, she was a lady, he was a rim rat. He should have remembered his lady was a Reader, should have known that she'd pick up on the one thing he was nervous about.

"Jayne thinks of rats and peacocks. But they are neither. They are birds. Flying in the same flock."

"Stay out of my head Moon brain." He said with no real heat behind his words as he turned to climb up the ladders.   
She followed him swiftly and was close to his heels as they entered the common area. She stayed silent as she jumped up onto one of the counters and watched him pull out pouches of protein and canned goods ready for the crews meal.

"Wife-to-be you sayin'?" He eventually said as he dumps the contents of a can into a pot. 

"Husband and wife." His back was to her as he smiled at her answer.

"That doesn't sound a mite too bad." He didn't need to turn to her to know that she was grinning from ear to ear, "So long as the Doc doesn't kill me." Jayne turned to face her. His hands landed on her knees, which she parted instantly to allow him to step into the cradle of her thighs. One hand slid just under the hem of her dress, fingers stroking the smooth skin in reverence.

"Bao Bei." River breathed as she arched up into his chest. Even sat on the counter she was shorter than him. Jayne swept back the strands of her hair to one side so he could press a kiss to her forehead. As he pulled away she surged up, took his face between his hands and kissed him. 

It wasn't their first kiss. That had been on a job gone wrong, with an injured Jayne and a panicking River separated from the crew. It had been the only way Jayne could think of to shut her up for the few precious seconds they needed to escape. Nor was it their second, that had been an angry River cornering him during his work out and pushing him into confessing how he felt about her. Which had worked in a spectacular fashion, as soon as the words had left his mouth she had rocked up onto the tip of her toes and pressed their mouths together leaving him no room for protest.  
In the present Jayne's hand gripped her thigh tighter, pulling her forward to the very edge of the surface so he could press more firmly against her. The hand in her hair tilted her head to the side so their noses could fit together.

"Jayne." River breathed against his lips, "My Jayne."

"My River." He answered.

"Your Wife?" Her voice was small, questioning.

"My Wife." He sighed. River grinned again and Jayne wanted to keep that smile on her face as much as possible, "Feng le wife."

"Hwen dan husband." She giggled. With one last press of lips against lips Jayne managed to remove his hands from her body and turn back to the bubbling pots.

"We shouldn't be goin' bout with that. Ain't no need to be callin' husband and wife in front of the Doc and Mal. Least not 'til..."

"Until husband and wife become husband and wife." River agreed. She pushed herself to the ground and trailed her hands softly down his back before exiting the common area in the direction of the cargo hold.

"Feng le." Jayne murmured watching her go.

\--

"Just a second." Inara called to whoever was banging on her door at this time of night. As far as night could be classified when they were surrounded by the Black at all hours of the day and night.

"Can I help you?" She asked the hulking mercenary who was trying to make himself seem smaller while standing on what she considered her doorstep.

"Yeah." He stepped past her and into the shuttle, ignoring the sound of her indignant protests, "I'm needing a mite bit of help."

"Jayne if you are requesting the services of a companion I am going to ask you to leave." She stood next to the door and crossed her arms.

"Ain't like that Nara." He dropped himself down onto the end of her bed with no reverence or care for his surroundings.

"Oh?" She reluctantly shut the shuttle door and watched him from her position. She hadn't known Jayne to ever be overly violent towards someone outside a paid or life threatening situation but everyone has their breaking point.

"Yeah. Seems like me and Moon-brain got something special."

"I had noticed, I didn't feel like it was my business to pry." She relaxed slightly, if this was about River then she could guess as to where his troubles lie and what he could possibly need help with.

"Well you got experience in things." He skirted around the subject.

"In some things." She prompted.

"Yeah, right smart. A real A-grade lady."

"What do you want Jayne?" She was getting tired of his subterfuge and actually wanted to sleep at some point that night. She knew he could skirt around the subject all evening if it came to that.

"Listen I gotta get Riv something pretty. Gotta get my shiny lady somethin' shiny."

"And you'd like my help?" Inara raised her eyebrows.

"I got experience with the sexin' and payin' for Jien Huo but I ain't got none for proper courtin'." He looked almost sheepish as he admitted this one character flaw.

"You and River are serious about this...Relationship?" She stepped closer to the bed so she could see his reaction. She, like the rest of the crew who were currently aware of it, had her own doubts and worries about this new relationship between the young girl and the Mercenary. They seemed so different on the surface.

"Not never been as serious about a female."

"What do you intend to court with?"

"Got no clue, that's where I'm needin' you."

"What does she like?" Inara could probably list ten things that River enjoyed immensely but she waited. She wanted to see whether Jayne could list off as many, if he really did know that much about her.

"Dancin', drawin', girl got a thing for ice planets an' flowers, guns, knives, pieces of pretty, dresses ..." He listed off instantly.

"It seems like you know exactly what she would like."

"Ain't never planet side to buy none of that. When we are we ain't got enough credits."

"I think you'll find Jayne, that once you give up paying for intimacy you'll have plenty of credits to spend on River." Inara watched him as his mouth fell open in realisation before closing again.

"Heard rings are a mite expensive."

"Rings?"

"Ain't gonna be marryin' the girl without no rings." Inara was speechless, she looked down at the man who was sat on the edge of her bed and thought carefully about how she was supposed to respond to that.

"Jayne, don't you think it's a little early to be thinking about marriage? River's still young after all."  
She didn't know what had come over him but this couldn't be the Jayne she knew. The Jayne she knew would never allow someone to catch him in marriage.

"Weren't my idea Nara, that Feng Le girl got me all wrapped up."

"River wants to marry you?" If she thought she was speechless before then it was nothing compared to now. All this time she thought it was Jayne calling the shots, pushing the young girl into something that she didn't know enough about to resist.

"Moon-brain wants babies too. 'Magine that."

"...Imagine that."

\--

"Jayne returns." River sang from his bed as he climbed down into the room. She propped herself up on one arm and smiled at him as he stepped off the ladders and further into the bunk.

"Ain't you got your own bed to go to?" He asked with a hint of affection as he caressed her cheek with a soft knuckle. She leaned into the touch and caught herself from leaning into the empty space when he pulled away. 

"Jayne appreciates my presence more than my empty room does." She finally replied.

"Doesn't the Doc wanna know where you been dissapearin' to at all hours?"

"The Doctor is entranced by the mechanic, as the Reader is entranced by the Mercenary." She watched him as he began to pull off his guns, laying each one out side by side on the table with careful movements. He made sure each one was in perfect condition with the safety on before moving away and kicking his boots off.

"Got me goin' crazy too. Iffen got me understandin' your crazy talk." He pulled off his shirt and stretched dramatically.

"Your Feng Le woman making more and more sense every day." Jayne sat on the bed next to her and met her eyes from beneath the curtain of her hair.

"Still my woman, Feng Le or not." He nudged her towards the wall so he could lay down next to her. It was a tight fit but River was small enough to contort her body around the curves of his. Even being as bold as to throw one leg over Jayne's, causing her dress to ride so far up her thigh she might as well not be wearing anything at all. Jayne allowed himself to slide a hand up her thigh in a gentle caress of skin against skin.

"He has my permission to touch me and love me in any way he wishes." She burrowed into his heat and tucked her head under his chin.

"Ain't got your brothers permission though."

"It isn't his body. This body belongs to River. No more stabbing and slicing. Only Jayne can touch." She wrapped her hand around his wrist, in an attempt to keep him from pulling away.

"Bao Bei." Jayne said against her temple as his hand slid a few inches further almost without his permission.

"Please." As his lips met hers his hands drifted up the curve of her thigh. The dress was pushed up to her hips and Jayne allowed his hand to stroke over the cotton covered flesh. The plushness of her curves filling the palm of his hand as he pressed his tongue into her mouth. With confidence River slid over his body until he was flat on his back.

"Jayne." She moaned. 

"No sexin' Bao Bei. Wo de tian a." Jayne removed his hands from her skin and gently rolled her back onto the mattress.

"Nah mei guan shee." She climbed over him and adjusted her dress before going straight to the bunk hatch.

"Riv." He called out, pushing himself to his feet after her.

"He says he wants her. Wants her more than anythin' in the Verse. But he won't take her." The anger in her voice was enough to knock Jayne silent for a few seconds.

"Bao Bei." He murmured.

"Does he even want her ... me. Does he - Do you ... want me?" With that she climbed silently up and slammed the hatch closed behind her.

"Wo pi gu cao." He dropped back onto the bed and cradled his head into his hands. His palms rubbed his eyes as he wondered what he should do next.

\--

"Heard you paid a little visit to Inara last night Jayne." Kaylee teased from across the table. Mal, Wash, Zoe, Simon and River froze and turned to the Mercenary. Jayne could practically see the anger spring up behind Mal and Rivers expressions.

"Gwon ni tze jee duh shr." He answered while he stirred the contents of his bowl, ignoring the rest of the crew except River who he was keeping a trained eye on.

"Just askin', ain't no need to get all fired over it." Kaylee defended while looking around the table for support.

"Ain't what you're thinkin'." Jayne figured it would be better to nip this one before it got out of control. He didn't want River to be thinking he was being dishonest and didn't want Mal to be thinking he was moving in on his non-romance with the Companion.

"We all got needs." As soon as the words left Kaylee's mouth River pushed back her chair with an awful scraping sound and slammed her hands on the table.

"Mei yong ma duh tse gu yong!" She yelled before turning on her heel and running away.

"Feng Le!?" Jayne yelled after her, "River!" He was following her as soon as he was standing, but the small girl had a definite head start and a knack for finding the smallest places possible to hide.

"River! It ain't like what Kaylee's talkin'." He yelled down a seemingly empty corridor, in hopes that the Reader would give herself away.

"Companion knows more than little girl. Big hwen dan gets more pleasure from Companion than from little girl." She stuck her head down from the walkway above so she was practically face to face with him.

"Yeah I went to Nara. Not for sexin' though. Went to ask her how I'm s'posed to go about courtin' you." He explained hastily.

"Cai bu shi." She pulled herself up and settled cross legged, her head cradled in her hands.

"Bao Bei." 

"Go away! Leave me alone. Leave crazy girl to her crazy thoughts and her crazy words." She curled up in a ball and began to thump her head against her knees.

"River." His tone was concerned as she curled her fingers over her ears and scratched at her skull.

"Kwai jio kai." She cried. Jayne couldn't believe his strong Woman could sound so broken, all because of him.

"Okay, okay Bao Bei, I'm going. But I'm gonna send the Doc to get you before you go hurting yourself."

With one last look at the small curled up figure he turned and walked away. He stepped through the hall to the dining area only to be faced with the end of a gun. His gun no less. 

"Woah Doc. Best not to be pointin' that at people. You might get yourself hurt." He deflected. He had no doubt that if the Doc had tried to shoot the bullet wouldn't hit him, even at close range the Docs aim was terrible.

"Have you touched my sister?" Simon asked instantly.

"Not been sexin' on her if that's what you mean Doc." Jayne sidetracked, trying to avoid answering the question directly. The Doc might not have been able to shoot him but he was well within range for a good smack across the face with the butt of a gun, which he would definitely rather avoid.

"I mean it in every sense of the word. Have you touched my sister?" Simon was having none of Jayne's deflections and asked again.

"Listen Doc I've been waiting to ask your permission before we did somethin'." Jayne sighed and took what he considered to be the best approach to answer the question.

"I would have said no. Absolutely not. She's just a girl, a mentally traumatised girl who is still healing. She doesn't know the ramifications of such acts."

"Ain't wantin' to break it to ya Doc but she ain't no girl and she ain't as innocent as you think."

"And you think you know more than me? I am her Doctor and her brother, what are you to her?"

"He is my Bao Bei and future husband." The statement came from a silently approaching River who slowly stepped past Jayne without even glancing in his direction, "He is everything to me."

"Mei Mei, I don't think you know what you're saying."

"She knows, all about love and loving. Babies and life."

"He's just a buhn dahn wong da duhn."

"That ain't called for." Jayne said as he finally grabbed the gun from Simon and put the safety catch back on. Leaving the Doctors hands grasping at air for a few seconds before he let them drop back down to his sides in defeat.

"He is Rivers husband to be. Brother saved her but Bao Bei helps her live."

"River, he's no good for you. You need someone a bit more ..." Simon trailed off, he wasn't sure who River needed, who would be good enough for her, but he wasn't about to let this affection run any deeper.

"Core bred?" Jayne filled in while crossing his arms in a challenge.

"I'm just saying ... He's not from the same world as us Mei Mei. He wouldn't understand you."

"A core bred boy takes River out to dinner and doesn't understand her feng le brain. A core bred boy can't be with River. River is a broken child, cut and stabbed and shot and twisted and lost and scared and angry and drugged and-" Jayne stepped up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder. The young woman calmed instantly, allowing all the anger and frustrations to escape her in one breath.

"River..."

"Husband Jayne understands me. I will be courted and kissed and River will be his wife."  
Simon dropped down into the closest chair and stared open mouthed at his sister and the huge man stood behind her.

"I see that I have no choice but to accept this. Jayne, contrary to my beliefs and opinions, my sister has chosen you. I grudgingly give you my permission. On the condition that River stays pure until you are married and that you go through the courting process properly before becoming engaged."

"Ghuh, River will have Jayne-man whenever she pleases. Just like Brother and the Mechanic. I do not see why I should be held pure above your own woman."

"Fine, okay. Just ... don't rush into it Mei Mei. And my other condition, do you find this acceptable Jayne?"

"Shiny." On hearing the agreement Simon rubbed at his temples as he stared down at the table.

"She is still angry at him." River addressed Jayne.

"But...?"

"She will wait until Bao Bei makes it up to her." She said with a finality before stepping around him and leaving the two men in the Dining area.

"Sorry Doc, I ain't planned on asking you like this. Had it all planned out see."

"I don't think you're good enough for my sister. Lai huh moh sheong tze tian uh zoh. But I have no say in it. Prove it to me and then you'll win my real approval." Simon stood up and left the room.

\--

"Jayne, what brings you to this establishment?" Jayne jumped and dropped the skirts of the pretty dresses he was eyeing up. He knew River would like one but he didn't have a clue which one or which colour, and since he was in a women's dress shop he was trying his hardest to look inconspicuous, which was hard when you were over six feet tall and had a vast array of weapons strapped to your person.

"Nara! You ain't busy are you? Got a clean docket?"

"Nothing I can't postpone. Would I be correct in assuming that one of these is for River?"

"Dunno which one though. Might be needin' a bit-a help."

"Try a knee length one, River likes to move her feet. Nothing too dull, not black or grey she has enough of those. Avoid red and blue because those colours could trigger memories."

After eliminating half the pile Jayne's hand hovered over a white one.

"River isn't the most elegant of people, best not to get white, it's hard to remove stains."

"I got green or purple." He held up the two dresses, one with a soft swish to its skirts and the other one quite narrow and straight.

"Green. River will like the green one most."

"Right." He passed it over to the semi-scared girl who was stood behind the counter.

"Will you be needing anymore help?"

"I gotta but some fresh food stuffs."

"You're planning a romantic meal?"

"Wanted to surprise her, she ain't never been courted before and I gotta do it right."

"How about I give you a bit more of a hand?"

"What ya thinkin'?"

"Well if River has a new dress, it seems only fair that we make her look the part. I'll take her to my shuttle early in the evening, and I'll make sure the crew stay out of your way."

"Thanks Nara."

"I'll leave you to your purchases. The food market is two streets away. If you need help cooking I believe the Sheppard is well versed in the kitchen." And with that she offered a polite nod to the sales woman and turned to leave.

\--

"I don't see why." River had her arms crossed across her chest as she stared at Inara across the walkway to the shuttles.

"Because you're having dinner with Jayne."

"So? We have dinner all the time."

"River, you're having a romantic dinner with Jayne. This is supposed to be special."

"Bao Bei likes me like this." She spread her arms wide.

"He does. But it's customary to dress up while courting and we can make you look extraordinary."

"Extra ordinary. She's already extra ordinary, was told so by doctors and teachers and brother and parents."

"If you don't like it we'll take it all off and you can go as ordinary River."

"She feels as though this is a trick but the intrigue of the situation outweighs the pitfalls of the plan." She said before slipping past the Companion and into her shuttle.

It took fifteen minutes for River to stop poking about the various nooks and crannies of the room and sit still on the bed. Inara came towards her with a case of make up in one hand and a brush in the other.

"Why Jayne?" Inara asked, genuinely intrigued by the answer.

"She waits until she has the girl still and unable to move when she asks the question." River pointed out.

"You are free not to answer if you so wish."

"Jayne is a rock, steady and solid through Rivers winding, bubbling life. River flows in countless directions without warning but the rock stays still and firm." Inara looks at River who had her eyes closed when the brush passed over her brow.

"That was not the answer you were expecting?" River asked with her head tilted to the side.

"No, it wasn't."

"You don't see Jayne like I do."

"No, I admit I do not."

"You think he is a tactless mercenary with a hunger for killing, food, and sex."

"I apologise River, he is your Bao Bei."

"Your thoughts are your own. No one should be judged for private thoughts, we should only judge ourselves on what we think and judge others on what they say." Inara wasn't quite sure how to answer that, it was true in a way she supposed.

"But tactless Jayne is what this River needs. He protects her from herself, tells her where and when she is so she doesn't get lost in memories that don't belong."

"He means a lot to you, I can see that now."

"He is big hun dan husband to be. I love him more than everything in the verse as he loves me."

"You deserve that River." Inara had been steadily making her way through Rivers make up. It was barely there, soft and feminine and only enough to enhance the curve of her nose, the roundness of her eyes and the edge of her cheekbones.

"How about you choose what we put in your hair?" Inara presented her with a cushioned box full of hairpins, slides and clips of varying degrees of sparkle. Her hands drifted over the box thoughtfully before landing on a silver hair slide in the shape of a butterfly. Its wings were made up of coloured gems which made it sparkle when the light hit it.

"This is your favourite? I will look after it." Inara smiled at the young woman in front of her.

"I didn't believe it at first River but you and Jayne are a good match, strange, but good."

Rivers smile was bright as she settled down in front of Inara and allowed the companion to tame her uncared for hair.

\--

River stepped out of the shuttle, barefoot and with her new dress swishing around her knees, just as the crew were passing one by one to get to the open cargo hold doors. Kaylee was first, grinning at her as she dragged a glowering Simon down the steps, followed by a hand in hand Zoe and Wash and the Captain bringing up the rear.

"You two better look after my boat." He threw out before he reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Go on River, we'll be out all evening. Book decided to stay in case you needed anything."

River heard a distant "Doesn't she look shiny?" from Kaylee before the doors closed behind them. She followed the familiar route from the cargo hold into the common area. It seemed almost transformed. The lights surrounding the room were on but left the centre of the room dark allowing the flickering candles to set a glow across the table.

"Bao Bei." Jayne said from where he was stood by the side of the table, "You look..."

"Extra ordinary?"

"Shiny. Nara got you done up all fancible."

"Do you like it?"

"You know me, I like you every which way. But you look kuh ai, beautiful." He seemed to snap out of his trance and motioned to the table, "Here this uns your place." She settled into the chair and curled her legs up underneath herself.

"Food ain't nothin' to be lookin' forward to but it's fresh."

"Thank you Jayne." He placed the tray of foods between the two of them and took his own seat.

"Help yerself." They reached for the selection of foods and silence descended .

"The Doc didn't seem happy." Jayne grasped at straws for a conversation started. He picked the one topic that probably shouldn't be mentioned while they were spending time together.

"No, but Simon is unreasonable."

Jayne brought bite after bite to his mouth, interrupted by smooth liquor. They were silent, the odd bits of conversation were stilted and almost awkward as if they barely knew one another.

"There is supposed to be conversation. Men and women converse during acts of mating customs."

"Yeah." Jayne tried to think of a suitable topic but none were coming to mind.

"Tell me about ... your family." River saved him and he was able to launch into story after story about his Ma and his sisters, the credits he sends home and the gifts his Ma sends. From there River joined in with anecdotes about growing up on a core planet with Simon. How they would live, how different it was to life on a ship, or life on a rim planet.

Once the ice was broken the silence was filled with pearls of laughter from River and loud guffaws from Jayne. Dessert soon followed the dinner and they were picking on a random selection of fruits with cream so thick it coated the back of a spoon whenever they dipped into it.

"These are my favourites." River said as she held up a slice of green apple.

"I know."

"Of course you do." She grinned as she dipped it in the cream and took a savage bite.

"You ain't 'alf beautiful River. Makes a guy wonder why you're with an old hun dan like me."

"River has explained to too many people today. My love for Jayne is infinite, Jayne must trust his River when she tells him as such."

"I trust ya Riv." She rose up out of her seat gracefully and walked around the table until she was able to nudge Jayne's arms out of the way and settle sideways across his lap.

"Tell me what happened on Santo. She likes hearing that one." Jayne pulled her closer, settled his chin on top of her head and launched into the story. 

\--

"Right, I know there's been a mite bit of tension on this boat. But we gotta put all that behind us. I just got a wave for Fanty and Mingo." Mal said as he addressed the crew.

"Aw hell Mal, we're still recoverin' from the last one."

"I think we're all knowin' how you've bin recoverin' Jayne. This one's got our little Albatrosses name all over it."

"How you figure?" Jayne answered before River could.

"What? You takin' over from the Doc now? Listen we all gotta pay our fare for this boat the girl included. I'm in need of a Reader, just so happens I know a girl can help."

"She will follow the Captain. Brother and Bao Bei cannot stop her."

"Weren't thinkin' bout stoppin' ya." Jayne grumbled.

"Yes you were."

"I was just thinkin' there ain't no need to be puttin' yourself in danger if you're not needed."

"Are you going?"

"Yeah..."

"Then so am I."

"River," Simon warned from down the table, "As much as I hate to agree with him, Jayne does have a point."

"You too?" Mal sighed, "This is why on board relations are a bad idea." 

"I will not be controlled." River folded her arms across her chest and glared down at the two men.

\--

"Captain Mal Reynolds. Never thought I'd be seeing you round these parts again."

"Well ever since our last meet went south I can't say I was expectin' to be 'round. Isn't that right Zoe?" Mal nodded towards Zoe who was stood next to him.

"You're not wrong Sir."

"So what can I be doing for you and your ... Crew? This ain't really the place for a young girl such as the one you got yourself there."

"She can take care of herself well enough. Good learning experience for one her age." Mal passed River off, well aware of how outsiders saw her and what they thought of her. She was his secret weapon all things considered.

River tilted her head to one side and focussed on the woman in front of her. Her hat was tilted over her face, shielding the sun from her eyes and her thumbs were hooked into a loose belt slung low over her hips which housed at least two guns. River drifted to the side of the group but ensured that she was still in front of Jayne. As the fastest shot he was positioned behind River so he could read her body movements and the cues they had developed if a job were to start going south. She was to indicate to Jayne if there was any sign of distrust from the woman in front of them.

"You got any experience with this kind of cargo?" She asked the Captain while her eyes remained on the slow moving River behind him watching her as one would watch a venomous snake readying to strike.

"We've got experience enough."

"This kinda scratch need lookin' after. Need feedin' and the like. And I don't wanna be hearin' bout you gettin' pinched or running afoul with my goods."

"We pick up, we drop off. That's all we do." Mal gave her one of his more innocent grins, which wasn't fooling anyone for a second.

"Don't you think I be knowin' who was behind the whole mess with that wave a few months back. Messin' with the Alliance gets a man into places he ain't likely to get out of."

"I seem to be standin' here clear as plain day."

"By the skin of your teeth no doubt. You look after my cargo Mal Reynolds. Or me and mine will be coming to find you and the skin of your teeth won't be no help."

\--

"You think this is a good idea Sir? This is a five day journey, who's going to look after them?" Zoe asked as she watched over the cargo in the hold next to Mal who was looking rather pleased with himself. Almost as if he wasn't expecting the deal to go so well.

"Seems like Rivers got it all well in hand." He leaned over the side of the walkway to witness a lively River bending down from the waist to stare at one of the tobacco plants.

"We've transported worse cargo." Mal added.

"Don't remind me."

"It's five days, we got more than five crew on this boat, add it to the chores. Least this crew could do for their cut in all-a this, ain't gonna be nothing more'n waterin' a few tobacco plants, hardly work at all."

"Fine. But you're passing on that message."

\--

"There's my River girl."Jayne exclaimed as he strode up behind her and lifted her from the ground in one smooth move. She giggled as he placed her back on the ground and she turned in his playful grip. His eyes were unfocussed as he was wearing a smile that was altogether too un-Jayne-like.

"Jayne is not how he should be ... Captain?" She cupped Jayne's face and stared into his eyes, "His head is fuzzy. Jayne is not fuzzy. Never fuzzy." She turned to Mal who had just walked through to the common area, Zoe close on his heels.

"Ran into a mite bit-a trouble. Seemed like my Mercenary got himself a little bit ... poisoned." Mal sighed and collapsed into the nearest chair, getting the big guy back to the ship had been hard enough he didn't have the energy to play twenty questions with River on top of that.

"Poisoned!?" River turned back to Jayne who was grinning goofily down at her.

"Mal ain't knowing what he's talkin' 'bout I'm feelin' mighty fine. Mighty happy."

"We think it would have knocked any normal man out but Jayne being his size and a stubborn hun dan, seemed to have put him in a drunk like state." Zoe filled in the slightly panicking girl as she took her own seat next to Wash.

"Isn't my River just the prettiest little thing you ever saw Mal?"

"Maybe you should be takin' him to the Doc?" Mal suggested to River from his seat at the table. 

"Don't need no Doc Riv." He complained as she moved to lead him towards the Medical facility on board.

"Simon is the best solution in this conundrum. He will fix Jayne."

"Don't need no fixin' neither. Just need my Bao Bei." He tried to pull her closer but she slipped out of his grasp.

"Follow me Jayne." She grasped the collar of his shirt and pulled him along behind her and fortunately the Mercenary obediently followed.

"Simon!" River called as they made it to the med bay with only minimal wandering hand and stops along the way.

"River, are you okay?"

"She is fine. Bao Bei has been drugged." She put her hands on his shoulders and forced him to sit down on the bed in the middle of the room.

"Jayne was drugged? He seems fine to me."

"Fine, mighty fine. She is fine isn't she Doc? Pretty shiny that a woman like her wants a man like me. Fine little Lady."

"...Nevermind." Simon said, eyeing Jayne and finally taking into account the glazed over expression, "What was this drug supposed to do?"

"Think they went and said somethin' 'bout killin' me. But I ain't dead, and I got this ma tze se. This one right here," He pointed to River, "Mighty, mighty fine. You taken' a look at her pi gu-?" River smacked a hand over his mouth.

"The drug was intended to kill Jayne. He didn't die but still might depending on the ingredients." 

"No, that doesn't seem the case. A drug such as this seems as though it needed precise calculations in order for it to be effective as a poison. It seems it was grossly miscalculated, either this wasn't meant for Jayne or they didn't know what they were getting themselves in for. I always said Jayne was a big brute, it seems his size was to his advantage." He began to open various drawers and pull out a hypogun and a vial.

"I think this can be burnt out naturally, but to save his - rather dubious - reputation I'll give him a dose of Isoprovaline. It's-"

"An immune booster." River finished, "He will stay here until he is Jayne."

"I would have suggested that anyway, there's no way to tell whether this will definitely work."

"Simon feels affection for Jayne." River pointed out with a sly grin.

"I just wouldn't want you to cry if he died." Simon defended lamely.

"He does." River assured Jayne before kissing him on the forehead and leaving the two men together in the room.

\--

"Ta ma duh. What the ruttin' hell happened to me?" Jayne exclaimed as he woke up with a headache the size of Osiris.

"You were poisoned." Simon said as he checked Jayne's vitals and sat him up on the edge of the bed

"Why ain't I dead then?"

"It seemed the dose was incorrectly applied, instead of killing you the drug gave you symptoms similar to being drunk. How much do you remember?" He asked as he shone a light into Jayne's eyes.

"Not a lot, a bit-a Riv, bit-a you."

"So you don't remember anything that was said?"

"I think I remember - oh wong ba duhn."

"I concur."

"None what left my trap was me right? I was poisoned ain't gonna be blamed for nothing?"

"I think River rather enjoyed it. As for myself, although I would have rather not heard some of it, it was refreshing to see how you really feel about my sister."

"Well yeah Doc, I love River."

"Anyone can say they love someone, actually showing it is another matter altogether."

"Jayne!" River called as she skipped into the room, "He is awake." She grinned and kissed his forehead, "You scared me yesterday. You weren't as you should be."

"No I weren't." He slung an arm around her shoulders as she settled between his parted legs and rested her head on his shoulder.

"You are okay?" She asked, half addressing Jayne and half addressing her Brother.

"He'll be fine. Might need to eat through the next weeks worth of protein though. The booster I gave you probably burnt through all your reserves."

"Come on Jayne. I will find you breakfast, lunch and dinner." She took his hands and pulled him to his feet.

\--

As soon as Jayne's feet hit the floor of his bunk he was about ready to climb back up and make a tactical retreat. He didn't even need to look at the bed to know that there was an extremely naked River laid on it, the small pile of fabric was enough evidence of a discarded dress.

"Riv. You ain't got no clothes on."

"He is correct. The activities she has in mind require a distinct lack of clothes. Not necessary but certainly makes the activity more enjoyable."   
She stood up gracefully and Jayne was faced with skin. Lots of skin. Perfect, pale and smooth. Toned muscles, flat stomach and breasts that were the perfect handful.

"Go shi." He reached out and skimmed a hand from her shoulder to her hip.

"She...I am asking you. If you would take me to bed. And love me like a man loves a woman."

"Aw hell." He stepped up to her and allowed her to plaster her lithe body against his front. As soon as they came in contact he was lost and any objections died in his throat.

"I love you." He said, his voice low and raw.

"I love you too." She grinned up at him before raising herself up on her toes and sealing her mouth over his.


	2. Outtake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Outtake scene between Wash, Jayne and River. Someone needed to give him the idea of being romantic after all.

Jayne closed his fist tightly and knocked on the guest room door. Or Rivers door, as it had become. He unfurled his fist quickly when he realised that he was crushing the flower in his big hand and took a few moments to smooth out the ruffled petals as much as possible. He heard rustling through the door and stood to attention.

"I am still angry at him." River called through the door, "But I will take the flower." Her arm snaked through the door jam and plucked the stem from his fingers.

"What's a guy gotta do..." He asked, half to himself and half to the door which he was sure she was stood right behind.

"Jayne will figure this out. As easy as quantifying evidence and applying the solution."

"What?" There were a lot of words there and he didn't understand half of them.

"I think the young girl would like you to win her over." Book said as he sauntered past with his wash bag in one hand.

"Woman!" Yelled River from her room at the same time Jayne exclaimed, "What cha think I've been trying to do."

"Maybe you should try harder than a hastily picked flower that are growing just outside our doors. Forethought."

"Preacher man is correct. Solution has been achieved through third party meddling. Application will be down to Jayne-man."

"Ta ma duh." He murmured as he left the guest quarters to wander down to the cargo hold where his weights were. As he started lifting he began to think on what his River girl would like...Something romantic? Something she didn't have at least. Forethought. He dropped the weights in frustration.

"Ain't got no clue." He swore towards the ceiling. As he looked up he noticed a pair of small bare feet dangling over the walkway.

"Riv?"

"She will give him a clue. Why is she angry?"

"I ain't got no idea. So what's the clue?"

"Silly Jayne, that was the clue." She giggled as she pulled her legs up under her and ran off.

Jayne was sure she wasn't even mad anymore, she was just having fun playing with him. But even if she wasn't mad there wasn't any way for Jayne to get close to her until he made it up to her. But why had she been mad in the first place?

"This cause I di'n't want the sexin'? Cause she thought I di'n't want 'er?" He moved the dropped weights out of the way before opening the bay doors and leaving the ship. They weren't exactly in the middle of a city but the small town a few minutes' walk away would serve its purpose. Now he just had to be all romantic and the like, show the girl he wanted her. With a pocket full of coin and a semi-formed idea Jayne was a man on a mission.


	3. Translations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Probably very loose translations of most likely very bad Chinese. These are all from a website that collected words and phrases that were said on the show as well as common phrases and insults. Hopefully the translation isn't too terrible.

Yao Nu - Demon woman

Qing wa cao de liu mang - Frog humping son of a bitch

Xiao mei mei - Little miss

Fang xin - Don't worry

Wo cao - I'm fucked

Kai Tze - Boyfriend

Nyen Ching - Young one

Cai bu shi - Yeah right

Sha gwa - Fool

Shwai - Handsome

Bao Bei - Sweetheart

Feng le - Crazy

Hwen Dan - Bastard

Jien Huo - Cheap whore

Wo de tian a - Dear god in heaven

Nah mei guan shee - In that case nevermind

Wo pi gu cao - My ass is fucked

Gwon ni tze jee duh shr - Mind your own business

Mei yong ma duh tse gu yong - Motherless goat of all motherless goats

Kwai jio kai - Get lost

Buhn dahn wong ba duhn - Idiot son of a bitch

Mei mei - Sister

Ghuh - Big brother

Lai huh moh sheong tze tian uh zoh - Have desires above ones position

Ta ma duh - Motherfucker

Kuh ai - Cute

Pi gu - Ass


End file.
